Unexpected Anxiety

A few days ago I was glancing at my calendar and suddenly realized that it's almost August. With that, my mind leapt ahead to my surgery at the end of the month. After setting the date back in September my surgery is barely a month away. All along, people have asked me if I'm nervous. I've always responded that I can't wait for the surgery but that it is surgery and things can go wrong, that being nervous is natural. What I didn't expect was a feeling of panic now. That feeling has passed, but it caught my attention. Why panic, nothing had changed except the passage of time? I guess that with the dwindling days until surgery, the whole thing becomes more real. No longer is it something that I need to plan for, it's something for which all the planning is done. I've never felt like backing out, but at this point such a thing is practically impossible. It's all set, it's paid for, it will happen. There's nothing to do now but wait out the days and keep it real.