Present Perfect

I'd like to shift focus a bit here and talk about another part of my life. I separated from my ex shortly after coming out to her in December of 1998. She was initially supportive and assisted me with my look but rapidly soured after seeing me dressed for the first time. We were in counseling by April of 1999 and agreed to split up by June. We sold the house and separated in December of 1999. Divorce is supposed to be some great tragedy but all I could see was the freedom it would afford me to figure out who I was and what I wanted. I spent the next 5 years alone, but not lonely. I continued counseling and I tried to get a handle on my sexuality. I dabbled with men, mostly because they were the only interested parties, but it never struck a spark. That left me wondering if the problem was with these particular guys or if my problem was with guys in general. All it took was my first lesbian relationship to make it obvious that women are it for me.

Michele contacted me by email in February of 2004. She is a lesbian who was active in the GLBT employee group at her employer. She found me online and reached out to me as a possible speaker for their pride festival. We emailed for a few days and then met for breakfast. We talked about everything except the reason we had gotten together. We continued emailing, then had dinner together. Soon I was cooking dinner for her. I think we had our first kiss on her birthday and it's an understatement to say that it was electrifying! Soon she was spending the night. By summer she had essentially moved in. In January of 2005 we closed up her apartment and moved her completely in here. In February, although I was living full time as a woman, we were able to get legally married, due to the fact that I am still legally male (the story of getting the marriage license I'll save for another post; Michele has done a pretty good job of telling this story). It's so cool to have a legal Maryland marriage license that says "Nicole and Michele". Too bad it has to list me as "husband". We did the marriage quietly at city hall with nobody present except the officiating clerk. When our friends heard, they were outraged that we didn't tell them what we were doing. We promised them a commitment ceremony to which they'd be invited. That ceremony will be this Saturday, July 16, 2005. It will be a small affair with our family and closest friends. I'm happy to be able to say that my parents are attending. Although we're keeping it a less formal event I will be wearing a wedding dress. Hopefully I'll be able to post a picture in a few days.