Out Damn Spot

After 10 days on Cipro and sitz baths my labia surgery site infection seems completely resolved and I seem to have stopped spotting blood! Yea!!! Now, back to normal healing. While a few spots on my labia have smoothed out to a natural look most areas are still thickened and raised. The vertical incision above the hood is completely healed but still thick and stiff. Like everything else I imagine I need to allow at least 6 months for all of this to resolve.

My breasts are getting softer, bouncier, and more natural looking all the time. They are still a bit too full at the top, without a natural slope. I hope that this, too, will improve.

I really need to restart my exercising. When I left for my vaginoplasty in August I was about 150 pounds. Right now I'm about 162 pounds. Many of my slacks and jeans are too tight for comfort. I feel thick. Now that my labia are better I'm ready to restart the bike riding. Monday is the day! I've started trying to do some stomach crunches and am surprised to find how much I feel it in my breasts. It's a strange and uncomfortable feeling. It feels like a tightness across my chest, like a belt has been tightening right across my boobs. I think that may be me feeling where the pectoral muscle ends and the bare implant begins. If it feels this strange and uncomfortable from stomach crunches I can't imagine what it will feel like when I restart rock climbing. I hope it's tolerable. I'm scared that the breast aug may kill my climbing in a way that the hormones and muscle loss didn't. I'm not sure it's a reasonable price to pay for my vanity and sense of self.

Transamerica

Yesterday Michele and I finally saw Transamerica. We kept waiting, hoping it would come to a theater near us. It didn't. We traveled 23 miles each way to see it. It was good, really good, and Felicity Huffman was outstanding. I'm sure it was controversial to cast a woman in the part but she makes it very believable that she's a pre-op F2M.

There are quibbles to be made about authenticity but I feel they are pretty minor in the big picture and actually help to impart some knowledge about the process: Bree, while only 2 weeks away from SRS, doesn't yet have her two psych letters and her main counselor holds the letter hostage until Bree deals with her son. Also, in the real SRS world she'd be off estrogen at this point.

Probably the best thing about the film is that it presents the subject of transsexualism without sensationalism or preaching. It's the main subject of the film but it's presented and intertwined with the story of the main characters, Bree and Toby, getting to know themselves as they drop their guards while getting to know each other. The movie rightly (IMHO) puts the emphasis on the personal change, the process of self understanding, rather than on the physical change, the SRS operation. Many have knocked the movie because of the way it turns into a "travel movie". Perhaps the cross country journey is a plot device too often employed but their physical journey parallels the personal journey towards self understanding and acceptance that each character makes.

I was quite impressed that 30 or so people came out to see this movie but I wonder if they really knew what it was about. There's a pivotal scene where Toby learns Bree's secret when Bree's penis gets exposed. Someone in the audience audibly gasped at that! Although Bree is played by a woman didn't they understand that the character of Bree still had a penis?

When the movie was over I felt like I should stand up and ask if there were any questions. I didn't. Perhaps an opportunity missed.

Vast Improvement

I started on Cipro on Tuesday evening and started the sitz baths on Wednesday morning. By Thursday morning my labia looked far better. The swelling had reduced and there was decreased discharge. I had a checkup with my primary care physician and she was encouraged by what she saw. She was especially concerned that I could develope areas of abscess which would require treatment. Luckily, that's not the case. Even with the improvement I'm finding it uncomfortable to sit. Yesterday I ended up leaving work early because I was just too uncomfortable. I headed home so that I'd be able to get in 4 sitz treatment (rather than the two per day I'd been doing), recline instead of sitting upright, and spend some hours without underware. It was my hopes that one day of treating my bottom especially well would go a long way towards allowing me to get through the next day at work. So far today the discomfort is about the same but I've managed to adjust my chair and monitor to allow me a more reclined position, better on my bottom but not so great on my neck.

Valentine's Day...or Thanksgiving?

Twice yesterday Michele accidentally said "Happy Thanksgiving!" I've teased her about it since, but ultimately, isn't Valentine's Day all about showing your special love just how much they mean to you, how much you want to thank them for being a part of your life? Sounds like she had it right!

From Blood to Worse

OK, I have an infection in my labia. For a few days now my labia have been tender and as of yesterday I have areas of swelling. Today I've got pus.

I sent pictures and a description of my problems to Dr Meltzer's office and later called. I was called back by a Dr Jennifer Shaw. She told me I have an infection. She recommends sitz baths 3-4 times a day (or treatment with warm compresses in lieu of a sitz bath) and has prescribed a 10-day course of Cipro.

I am so anxious to get back to exercising and this is one obstacle standing in my way. I can't wait for all of this to clear up!

Snow Day

The Washington DC area went from almost spring-like weather to a winter snowstorm. I measured 11 inches on the patio and some nearby areas supposedly got around 24 inches. Our condo association contracts for snow removal but you never know when they'll actually arrive. So, I headed outside with shovel in hand to dig my way down the walkway and out to shovel around the cars and clean them off. I quickly discovered that whatever I had pulled in my chest the other day was going to trouble me in shoveling. However, using a smaller, lighter shovel and taking smaller loads I was able to do what needed to be done.

While pushing the snow off of my car I broke the driver's side wiper blade, so we had to head out in Michele's car looking for a replacement. Luckily I found some at our first stop.

Roads were not bad. The plow crews did a great job and temperatures into the mid 30's allowed the roads to even dry off.

All in all it was a very pretty snowstorm, with snow that clung to the trees in pictoresque ways. Unfortunately this also created many power outages due to downed power lines.

School has already been cancelled for tomorrow. My kids are ecstatic.

Going into my surgeries I was afraid that something, like a snow storm, would mess up our travel and upset the surgery plans. I'm so glad that I got both surgeries done without these problems. It must be hell scheduling winter surgery with Dr Schrang!

Another Possibility

On Friday I spoke with Lindsay from Dr Meltzer's office. I had sent them an email asking about my labial bleeding. She said that she thinks it is unrelated to my resumed aspirin use. Rather, she said that at about 3 weeks or so after surgery the clotted up blood and stuff that's trapped inside starts liquifying and seeks a way out. In any case, I'm supposed to keep using the bacitracin, watch for infection, and let them know if it gets any worse.

Perhaps a Connection?

It's well known that taking estrogen can cause blood clots. So, to help counteract this, I take 81mg of aspirin daily. As a prerequisite to LAB and BA I went off of the aspirin 3 weeks before surgery. I restarted the aspirin 3 weeks after surgery. The labial bleeding started right around this same time. Unfortunately, I can't exactly remember which occurred first so I can't really reach a cause-and-effect conclusion. However, aspirin can certainly cause bleeding and I'm bleeding. It definitely seems prudent to stop the aspirin for a while and see what happens.

Big Max is Dead, Long Live Trey

I never really felt comfortable dilating with dilator #4, "Big Max". It always felt like it was stretching me too much inside. Still, I used it because I thought I was supposed to. After the labiaplasty-required hiatus from dilating I started back in with dilator #3, "Trey". After a few days I went back to #4 but it was even more uncomfortable than before. I got to thinking "Why bother, why put up with the discomfort?" Since I don't really need that extra 1/8 inch diameter I decided to give up with Big Max and do what feels better. Long live Trey!

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

Perhaps that should be "Two Breasts Forward..."

The last week has been mostly uneventful, with nothing much to comment on. However, things are not quite so great right now. For the last few days I've had bleeding from my labia and my breast are more painful again.

When I look "down below" it's not terribly obvious where the bleeding is coming from. Most of my sutures are now gone or falling out so some of the bleeding may be related to that. Things that were previously tied together are now more subject to pulling and stretching and this could be causing bleeding. Otherwise, nothing looks infected and the swelling continues to improve. I probably shouldn't be overly concerned but it is alarming.

My right breast is still tender on the outside where I pulled something while still in AZ. The left breast is tender on the inside since yesterday. Somehow I hurt it while pressing closed the pull top on my sitz bottle. Now it hurts to do my breast massage exercises and its tender when I lay on my side. Otherwise, the implants seem to have mostly settled down into place and the swelling is improving (on Tuesday I was able to wear a blouse that was too tight when I tried it on two weeks ago). They still don't look terribly natural as they are still too full towards the top and they are still quite tight. No jiggle here yet!

The sensitivity of my breasts is uneven. I have areas across my breasts and areola of greater and lesser feeling but no areas that are completely numb. Most areas are no where near 100%. Overall my left breast has better feeling than my right breast with my right areola being mostly dull.